It’s crazy what you can see with hindsight.....
If you’d told me back in 2018, newly diagnosed with cancer, scared, unsure if I’d even make it to 40, that we’d be where we are today, I wouldn't have believed you.
But that’s the thing about God. He takes what the enemy meant for evil and redeems it. He doesn’t send the cancer, the heartbreak, or the setbacks, but He sure doesn’t waste them.
From the very start, His fingerprints have been all over our story. Some moments were unmistakable. Others I can only see clearly now, looking back.
When I was first diagnosed, I started attending Beaverlodge Alliance. I met men and women of faith who were bold, warm, and full of wisdom, people who spoke truth into my life when I didn’t even realize how much I needed it.
I wrote a couple blog posts about chemo, suffering, hope, and the quiet ways God shows up even in waiting rooms and IV chairs. That writing turned into an unexpected opportunity and opened doors that led to work that challenged and inspired me, as well as introduced me to more amazing people.
As simple as a thing as following a company on Facebook, led to seeing a job posting for an equipment operator in a totally different field, on a local cattle ranch. Dear Husband applied, got the job, loved it instantly, and still does today. We've been blessed in so many ways through this work.
That one job changed our lives in the best way. Dear Husband went from being gone 15 days at a time in the oil patch, to being home every night; Home to help raise our Little Man, to live the life we’d always longed for. The ranch is family-oriented, rooted, filled with faith, and the kind of place people stick around. Hubby already says this is where you'll find him into retirement.
Most importantly, Dear Husband came to know Jesus. He was baptized and our home is now led in faith.
After chemo, doctors told us that children wouldn’t be in the cards for us. But God had other plans. I got pregnant naturally, at 40. We sadly didn't even know until I miscarried at 15 weeks. And while we grieved the unborn life we didn't even know we had until it was too late, that experience showed us that pregnancy was possible. At 41, with what my doctor called “the eggs of a 50-year-old," we had a healthy, happy, miraculous son.
Since then, I’ve grown in my own walk with Christ. I’m learning to hear His voice better; to ask, wait, and discern. To not push through every open door just because it’s there, but to seek His peace above all else.
During our home search, we were sent a listing for nearly a quarter section of land, right in the very neighborhood we’d dreamed of living. It was more than we could afford. But through a generous and unexpected opportunity, we were able to make a deal that will give us 22 beautiful acres and a house and property that are more than we ever dared to ask for. It doesn’t just meet our wishlist, it exceeds it.
We hadn’t even listed our current home yet, but within hours of the offer being accepted on our unicorn property, a couple called for a viewing on our current home. I was overwhelmed, company over, taking a course, the house in chaos. But we said yes. And just like that, our home was as good as sold. No listing. No open houses. No stress.
“Pressed down, shaken together, and running over…” (Luke 6:38) is the only way to describe how we’ve been blessed.
But hear me, this is not because we did anything special. We didn’t earn this. We don’t deserve it more than anyone else. God’s love is not measured by the size of your blessings. If you’re walking through hard things right now, that does not mean He loves you less. I know this because we’ve had our share of hard things too: cancer, miscarriage, the loss of my dad.... But sometimes hard things can shape us, prepare us, or draw us closer to God. Most times, we may not know the reason. He doesn't cause the hard things, but He can use them for His purposes in ways we can't yet see. I pray that you walk through the hard to a time you can look back and see the greater purpose.
I listened to a sermon recently by Steven Furtick called “Let the Dirt Do Its Work,” and it resonated. Seeds grow in the dark and roots form in the unseen. What looks like delay or disappointment is often just preparation. The miracle starts underground, hidden, but it’s working.
The dirt, both the literal and the unseen “soil seasons” God has walked us through, has been doing its work in us for years.
So we give thanks for the dirt that grows us, for the wait that humbles us, for the harvest that overflows, for the grace we didn’t deserve, and for the blessings we couldn’t have imagined. We're thankful for the people who have been placed in our path to help us along the way. And for the reminder that God is always good, and always there.
On September 20th we'll move and become renters until the subdivision is finalized (God willing and with the blessing of County council). We look to forward gardening, chickens, trout fishing in our dugout, Little Man playing on the tree swing. Campfires. Fellowship. Greenhouse tomatoes and peppers, picking apples and cherries. Perhaps a Highland cow, and a Dexter Belfair for milk someday. 4H. Learning as we go. Muddy boots on hardwood floors. Barbecue dinners on the deck in the country quiet. Being shaped by the land, the work, through provision and whatever difficulties arise. And thanking Jesus for all of it.
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy dirt."
"Find the one you can't live without
Get a ring, let your knee hit the ground
Do what you love but call it work
And throw a little money in the plate at church
Send your prayers up and your roots down deep
And add a few limbs to your family tree
And watch their pencil marks
And the grass in the yard all grow up
'Cause the truth about it is
It all goes by real quick
You can't buy happiness
But you can buy dirt
Yeah, you can buy dirt
And thank the good Lord for it
'Cause He ain't makin' any more of it
So buy dirt"
~ Jordan Davis
#HolesteadAcres
